2024! What a year. After 14 solid years freelancing as a TV producer in commercials (plus 10 years at the BBC before that), everything came to a screeching halt in March. Six months of nothing. No work, no prospects, just silence. At first, I was wrecked, “What did I do wrong?” But slowly, painfully, I began to realise this wasn’t just a random setback. This was God hitting pause, a time to lean on Him like never before, to let go of the things I thought I couldn’t live without, and to relearn what really matters.
When Purpose Feels Out of Reach
Those months were tough. Many nights, I found myself on my knees, crying out, “God, what’s going on? Why am I here? What am I even supposed to be doing?”
A short gig at an ad agency in August gave me a brief distraction, but here I am again, asking the same questions. “What’s next?” “Am I even useful anymore?” That kind of doubt can eat you alive.
Then, I stumbled back into the book of Job. Wow. If anyone had a rough time, it was Job. His story hit me hard, especially his friends, who stuck by him but also managed to say all the wrong things. I realised I’ve been my own worst critic, just like Job’s friends: “Bebe, you must’ve done something wrong.” “Maybe you’re too proud.”
Stop Believing the Lies
And then it hit me: those thoughts are lies. Lies that need to stop.
God reminded me that my identity isn’t in my career, my car (or lack of one), or anything else I’ve accomplished. My worth isn’t tied to my job title or some project deadline. It’s rooted in Jesus, His love, grace, and purpose for my life.
This season has been hard, but it’s also been a wake-up call: I need to speak truth over myself, not lies.
Letting Go of Old Labels
Losing my work identity hurt, like, really hurt. I spent years tying my self-worth to my career. If I wasn’t producing something, was I even valuable?
But in this stillness, God reminded me: I am enough. I am loved. I am whole. Not because of anything I’ve done but because of who I am in Him.
Letting go of those old labels felt like peeling off a heavy coat I’d been wearing for years. Suddenly, I could breathe again.
A Divine Reset
Now I see that this season wasn’t about punishment, it was about preparation. God stripped away the noise and the distractions to refocus my heart.
I’m still in the waiting, still unsure what’s next. But I’m learning to trust His timing, even when it feels like nothing’s happening.
Every time I’m tempted to rush ahead, I hear Him whisper:
“Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10).
Active Waiting
Let me tell you, waiting isn’t easy. But it’s not passive, either. It’s about praying, reflecting, and surrendering (over and over again).
I don’t have all the answers, and honestly, I don’t need to. What I do know is this: God is working, even when I can’t see it.
Hope for the Future
So here I am, 2024 almost over, with more questions than answers but also with more peace than I’ve felt in a long time.
I don’t know what’s next, but I know who holds my future. And that’s enough.
2024 wasn’t about losing work or facing uncertainty. It was about rediscovering who I am, the kind of identity that can’t be shaken, stolen, or lost.
A Prayer for the Journey
Heavenly Father,
Thank You for this quiet season of transformation. Thank You for reminding me that my worth isn’t in what I do but in who I am in You.
Help me to trust Your timing, even when it’s hard. Teach me to wait on You, to let go of control, and to walk in faith.
Guide my steps and renew my heart. May this season be one of growth and purpose, grounded in Your unshakable love.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
With Grace & Grit,
Bebe xx
Grace & Grit: Rooted in Grace, Unshaken by Trials
Let’s walk this journey together. Whatever season you’re in, know this: God is with you, always. And He’s got a purpose for your life even in the waiting.
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